Skip to main content

(Different) Twins

Dear Nadia,
I never thought that I can befriend with you. It's nice having a good friend, a dear good friend, that's an introvert version of my self. You're the INTP and I'm the ENTP, so I'm feeling like you know me better than anyone else. As I said earlier to you, maybe we're like twins. It's just the one tiny different that makes us different, and I'm glad with it.

Honestly, before I met or knew you, I thought you're an arrogant and selfish woman because you look soooooo quite and you're classy (SERIOUSLY), LOL. Even before our introduction, I always love your sense of fashion... Your sense of fashion is a little bit similar to me. And once again, I think we're twins from different womb, lol. But then things changed and we met. It was a little bit awkward at first but I still remember how we think about the same thing at the same time, and before I knew you're an INTP, I had this feeling that you're like me, something about you remind me of myself. But then suddenly I knew you're an INTP (from our lecturer of course, before you put it in your blog, lol) and the sense came to me and I now know it.

I think... You're smart, because you love to write and read every literature especially in physiology, beautiful (INSIDE AND OUT), classy, and my judgement of you changed 360° when we became friend. You are the most caring person that I met, someone that surprisingly help me with 'something' from the very beginning.

Why do I write about you, actually?

Nadia, do you remember when we finished Manajemen Perbankan class? As we walked through the corridor, you were worrying me and my 'disease'. Kebetulan, I'm actually just healed from it... I didn't think that was a coincidence, but I think deep down in your heart you knew something was wrong but you were still in doubt. To be honest, only some people know that I was 'kumat' for the whole month (last month). I wanted to tell you, but I'm afraid... I don't know why. But when you asked me about my 'disease', that moment I realized... Well, my (unrelated) twins has a right to know about it, lol.

"I'm afraid that you sick but no one knows. People can hide themself and I'm afraid that you look okay on the outside but broken inside," you said that.

"Well yes, sometimes I am quite and hide myself from people. I do tell some people, but not everyone. Actually, I'm just healed from it. Why do you ask? Is it because I look different lately?"

"Well, I don't know. It's just make me worry about you."

Then you were standing quite while staring at me.

"Please don't do anything to Nita. I want to see Nita, the real Nita that I know."

Nad.... Seriously, I was so touched when you said it. To be honest, I was trying not to sobbing in the cafetaria. :)

"It's not that Nita is gone... Well people told me that I better find that old style Nita that they know."

"Well, I just want Nita safe and sound. You can tell me everything, okay?" What touched me the most was.... THEN YOU KISS ME ON THE CHEEK, that was so nice of you :) I was holding myself not to hug you in the crowd because people may feel a little bit awkward with that, lol.

I am speechless.

So Nadia, thank you for being my friend, my sister, and my twins that I longing all these years. It's nice talking to you and I'm glad that I can trust you with my untold stories, and thank you for trusting me with some of your stories, too! It's nice having a deep discussion from your perspective. I'm really hoping that our friendship will never be ended, we have to keep the bond no matter what the circumstances is.

Love,
Varenka :p

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Keputusan Besar

Just like that. We finally decided that we'll go on our own way. :) Lega. Campur aduk. Deg-degan. Nggak ada perasaan sedih ataupun marah. Tapi, aku memang penasaran.. apakah aku dan pasanganku bisa memulai hidup sendiri tanpa kehadiran satu sama lain? Pasanganku saat ini memang banyak membawa pelajaran hidup. Dia membuatku menjadi lebih melihat dunia, lebih luwes, lebih santai, bisa tertawa daripada pusing memikirkan berbagai hal, dan bisa beristirahat sejenak. Sifat negatifnya pun banyak sekali, yang melatar belakangi aku memikirkan kembali hubungan ini. Rasanya, sudah cukup kami mendapatkan pelajaran masing-masing. Kami sama-sama mengakui, kami tidak bisa melihat masa depan kami secara bersama. Kami saat ini hanya menjalani rutinitas yang sudah terbiasa karena terbentuk bertahun-tahun. Kedua anak kami layak mendapatkan cinta yang utuh sebagai keluarga, namun kami tau kami tidak akan bisa memberikannya jika tetap bersama. Kami sama-sama berhak mendapatkan cinta yang utuh, hati yan...

Hey, Stranger

The first time I met you, I was paralyzed by your charm. Hypnotized and feeling warm. Then sat beside you, didn't know who you were. We were stranger back then. Your dazzling eyes knocked me down, that you did. I didn't even know what was it. It was something new for me to feel. You were always there whenever and wherever I was. Though it was just in a mind of mine. Hey, stranger, what have you done? Months passed earlier than I thought. Weird... cause God brought you to my life. Ten hours a day though I felt it wasn't enough. Everyday was like a real fairy tale, that it was. Hey, stranger, did you even remember how we were here? The first time I met you, I knew what kind of person you were. Cold hearted with guts, that you were. This feeling was true and pure. I was right because I got hurt. But I'd stay not retreat. Autumn and winter had passed. Left us with spring and new hopes. Hey, stranger, didn't you see that?

Mama ❤️

"You have to keep going with him. Think about your children," they said. "You were the victim of a broken home child. Don't let it happen to your kids," they said. Meanwhile, my mama: "Nita,⁩ gimana kabarnya semua..? Mama akan laporkan KDRT klu dia tidak bisa menepati janjinya ke mama utk menjaga baik² Nita, Hagia, Melodie. Nita hrs lawan KDRT ya, dan selalu lindungi dg penuh kasih sayang Hagia dan Melodie ya sayaang.. 😇🤗🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰💖" Like, she always texts me like that. She said I need to leave him as soon as he hit me or my children. I think it's already in her instinct. I don't tell my mama that we fight, hit each other, and I have bruises because of him. She would kill him. Although I'm already a mother, I'm still her daughter. When I find a better man, who loves me deeply, who's soft and kind, she will let her guard down because she knows I'll be in the right hand. I realize now, I love my life so much. And, I won't...

untitled

I think my boss is right. I forgot to taking care of myself. I can't balancing my life as a mother, an employee, and a person. I'm overwhelmed. I'm tired. I'm exhausted It's time for me to take a rest. I will keep going, but, first, I need to put myself together again. Terbentur, terbentur, terbentur... terbentuk.

Sampul Buku dan Lembarannya

Boleh nggak saya memohon satu hal? Cukup sederhana. Kebanyakan dari kalian hanya memandang sampul sebuah buku. Jika sampul itu berupa kulit, kalian akan langsung mengambilnya. Kalau buku itu hanyalah buku usang, entah siapa yang akan mengambilnya. Disini bukan tentang menilai buku dari sampulnya. Tapi tentang siapa yang akan mengambil buku itu. Munafik memang, kalau kita mengaku tidak melihat orang dari penampilan. Tapi entah kenapa saya letih dengan semua itu. Letih dengan tipuan paling sederhana. Saya ingin kalian tetap menatap saya dalam keadaan terburuk, terjelek. Bukan dalam keadaan sebaliknya. Apa terkesan saya sombong? Tidak, bukan itu maksudnya. Saya hanya ingin kalian membuka buku itu setelah melihat sampulnya. Saya bukan buku bersampul kulit. Saya hanya buku biasa. Lembarannya putih, polos, tanpa coretan. Saya butuh kalian yang dapat mengisi lembaran-lembaran ini, bukan hanya menggeletakkan buku ini ke lemari hingga usang.