Her. Again.

Maybe you guys bored about Devina-ish posts. Yes, I wrote about her so many times. This time is her time, again.

What did you do to me, Dev? You made me write about you (it'll sound romantic if I'am a boy and wrote so much things about you) ;(

Actually, since I graduate from high school it's like I'm already free and spread my wings. I don't even care or miss with my school mates (you know what I feel about this love-hate relationship with this school). But, slowly some of them started to text me, ask me, said that I become arrogant, and they admit that they miss me. Then from that moment, I feel s-a-d. Yeah, so weird even for my self.

I started to realized that I'm nothing without them. You know, we've through a lot of screw-shit-drama together. Side by side. And it's actually Devina is the one who make me think that I'm such a terrible person for trying move on from my high school life. She posted our photo with a lovable caption, and even the caption made me cry too. It's kinda shameful, and I feel sorry for my self for being like that. So from that, I started to reply all the text messages they sent, and start to rebuild this.

I'm so thankful that because I have her (I don't know what's her thoughts about our friendship, but I hope she'll see me as a sister instead of friend). She can somehow, makes me to touch the ground again. I'm blessed that I know her.

And I'm so sorry to all my friends, my dear dearest friends, that I screw up. I'm sorry I can't be the friend that you wanted me to be. I'm sorry I sometimes act too much, and I'm sorry because I let you all down.

Now I realize, that closest friends are truly your unrelated family. We may not have the same blood in our vein, but they surely know how to be a family. They know you than your self. Weird, huh?

Thank you, Devina, to make me be a better person now. I'll try to be better and better so when we meet one day, you'll see me as a whole new better Nita. I hope a very good luck for you, and one day we'll meet as a grown up lady like Audrey Hepburn.

Comments

Self Reflection

I haven't wrote anything. But will try to write... again. 4 tahun yang lalu, gue menuliskan tentang masa-masa menjadi maba (mahasiswa baru) yang baru saja selesai melaksanakan PKKMB. Hari ini, beberapa teman angkatan 2015 sudah melaksanakan wisuda. Gue belum, semoga tahun depan mendapatkan giliran. Aamiin... Btw , entah mengapa pukul segini memang enak untuk menjadi sendu. Bukan sendu dalam konotasi negatif, tetapi cenderung ke arah positif. Tiba-tiba, jadi mengenang apa saja yang terjadi selama 4 tahun belakangan ini. Masa-masa di mana gue melepas seragam putih-abu, dan menggantinya dengan pakaian bebas. Malam ini menjadi sebuah renungan terhadap diri sendiri, atas apa yang telah dicapai, kesalahan, kebahagiaan, pertemanan, dan lain sebagainya. Katanya, kuliah adalah masa terakhir sebelum menghadapi dunia nyata. Katanya, semakin kita dewasa, kita cenderung menjadi realistis... mematikan cita-cita di dalam diri. Mematikan jiwa anak-anak yang ada di dalam hati. ...

Sarkas

Mungkin memang saya yang terlalu baik, saya yang bodoh, saya yang terlalu naif, dan saya yang selalu berpikir optimis. Semua ucapan orang yang memperingatkan agar selalu hati-hati... Saya abaikan. Saya mau tidak mau menerima semua resiko walaupun kini saya tahu rasanya. Dunia itu kejam dan saya seharusnya tahu. Saya seharusnya mendengar setiap rambu yang ditujukan kepada saya. Rasanya? Marah. Sedih. Merasa bodoh. Semua menjadi satu. Saya kini tahu seperti apa diri anda yang sesungguhnya. Anda.... bukan hanya seorang, tapi kumpulan orang yang sejenis. Hah, ternyata, wajah kalian pun bukan hanya dua. Namun terbagi menjadi seratus. Kalian dengan eloknya berganti wajah pada setiap orang. Ternyata, mulut manis kalian tidak semanis yang selama ini saya dengar. Mulut kalian memang manis di depan saya, tapi pahit di belakang saya. Ternyata, kalian bahkan kejam antar sesama kalian. Sangat tidak manusiawi. Lalu, Apakah saya masih pantas menyebut kalian manusia? Kalian senang menyerang ora...

Pancasila, Nasionalisme, dan Eyangkung

Mungkin Eyangkung (Eyang Kakung, Kakek dalam bahasa Jawa) benci disebut-sebut sebagai pahlawan. Tapi, memang kenyataannya begitu. Tidak akan ada Indonesia tanpa Eyangkung dan para pahlawan yang lain. Eyangkung saya bernama Eyang Toegijo Kartosandjojo, beliau lahir di Solo pada 17 Agustus 1919. Eyangkung bersekolah di Neutrale H. I. S Solo dan beliau berprestasi di sekolahnya. Karena prestasi itulah beliau dibebaskan dari les persiapab masuk M. U. L. O. dan pada akhirnya beliau berhasil masuk tanpa melalui tes ujian masuk. Sebagai cucu kesekian, saya sangat bangga mempunyai sosok Eyangkung. Karena beliau, saya selalu bersumpah akan membawa nama baik keluarga. Saya nggak mau menjelekkan nama baik keluarga besar, saya nggak mau dibilang, "cucu pahlawan kok seperti itu?" (Walaupun saya ini memang tergolong bandel sih, cuma bandelnya masih sebatas wajar). Walaupun beliau wafat setahun sebelum saya lahir, banyak cerita yang sudah saya dengar maupun foto-foto beliau yang saya l...

Circle of Life

I was born & raised with Disney's stories, so I grew up into a dreamy young lady. This night, this old song made by the BEST musician IS REALLY HYPNOTIZED me. *** Circle of Life (OST. The Lion King) From the day we arrive on the planet And, blinking, step into the sun There's more to see than can ever be seen More to do than can ever be done There's far too much to take in here More to find than can ever be found But the sun rolling high Through the sapphire sky Keeps great and small on the endless round It's the circle of life And it moves us all Through despair and hope Through faith and love Till we find our place On the path unwinding In the circle The circle of life It's the circle of life And it moves us all Through despair and hope Through faith and love Till we find our place On the path unwinding In the circle The circle of life

Catching Up!

It's 2022 now. This blog somehow becomes the witness of my growth. I started this blog back in 2012, thus.. I'm already on blogger for 10 years. This blog lasts longer than my relationship, ever! 10 years have passed.. I was 15 yo, and now I'll be turning 25 this December. what do I do now? Am I the same old Nita? Am I better? Do I become stranger to some people? The answer is.... My life gets boring, if you ask. I'm living a typical adult life; working, working, working, working, and working. Oh, almost forget. I also become a mother of one, a daughter named Hagia. So, it's like balancing life among working, be a mother, socializing, and most of the time.. resting. I become more quite than I was in college or freshgrad days. I become anti-social. I enjoy being alone instead of get trap around people. I enjoy drinking my matcha-latte, while reading book.. or just simply scrolling through my Instagram or TikTok. I enjoy to have exercise once in awhile. I enjoy my bus...

Expect the Unexpected

Search This Blog