ARGH.

Yes, I'm a senior now. Mungkin kalian udah bosen gue curhat tentang masa-masa SMA gue. But, maybe this will be the last...

Gue dari awal setengah-setengah masuk ke SMA yang sekarang ini. Kenapa? Ini bukan SMA tujuan gue! I'm feeling like.... Terjebak di pulau terpencil dengan banyak orang asing. Pernah nggak, kalian merasa sendirian di tengah keramaian? Nah, itu yang gue rasain begitu pertama kali masuk SMA ini. Daerah gue bukan disini, omongan gue nggak nyambung, tempat hangout juga beda, kalau dulu si A kenal sama si B sekarang malah nggak ada yang kenal sama sekali.

Sedih? Banget.

Gue yang dari zaman SD sampai SMP sering mengikuti lomba-lomba, sering mewakili sekolah kesana-kemari, jadi pasif di SMA. Untuk adek-adek kelas, jangan dicontoh ya. Gue emang payah karena terlalu mengikuti ego gue. Gue merasa, kemampuan gue seperti menurun perlahan.. Kaya.. Um.. Gimana ya, beda deh pokoknya.

Btw,

Tadinya gue bermimpi untuk daftar jadi anak cheerleader, dan bergabung OSIS. Cuma........ jadi kandas begitu masuk SMA gue yang sekarang. Keingingan untuk ikut OSIS jadi hilang sama sekali, walaupun sempat mengikuti tes, ya. (Alhamdulillah gue sakit waktu itu).

Sejak masuk SMA ini impian gue pun cuma ada 2, itu juga untuk memotivasi gue sekolah, dan untuk merasakan kesenangan zaman sekolah.

1. JADI PANITIA PENSI. Yes, I did it. Succeed.

2. JADI PANITIA BTS. Yes, I did it. Walaupun di sini hanya di bagian tim kreatif (yeah people admits that I'm creative, so here I am! :p)

Pas gue udah meraih semuanya... I'm feeling... lost.... again. I'm a stranger.... again. I'm an alien... again.

Gue memang mempunyai banyak teman di sini, cuma sekarang gue seperti anak ayam yang kehilangan induknya. Kebingungan. There's a love-hate relationship, I believe it. Karena gue merasakan itu ke sekolah gue, love-hate.

Sekarang, mungkin seluruh angkatan 2015 lagi merasakan kegalauan tingkat maksimal. Bukan karena pacar. Bukan karena cewek / cowok. Bukan karena diomongin orang (Please deh, SMA udah mau selesai kalau masih baper sama apa yang di-gossip-in orang, it's so last year). Tapi.... Galau karena masa depan. Lulus dari SMA, itu baru langkah pertama kita di dalam kehidupan. ARGGGHHH. Right now, this second, I'm in the middle of panic attack. From the scale of 1 to 10, this is 10.

Ganbatte!

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