Expect the Unexpected

Bismillah.. Malam ini entah mengapa perasaan gue lagi super sensitif. Tadi gue baru aja dinasehati sama Mama, tentang kehidupan kuliah gue dan jadwal gue yang tidak teratur. Beliau kecewa karena gue terlalu mementingkan nilai akademis sehingga mengorbankan waktu istirahat, peraturan rumah, dan rela meninggalkan beliau sendirian. Mungkin karena marah, beliau mengingatkan gue tentang almarhum saudara gue, Ongge. Namanya Antariksa Hening Satoto Indrayana Daniswara. Nama yang bagus, kan? Almarhum lahir pada 19 Juni 1991 dan wafat pada 31 Mei 2012.. Penyesalan memang selalu datang terlambat. Almarhum adalah sosok panutan bagi semua orang. Gue menyesal karena selama almarhum hidup, mungkin yang Ongge rasakan ke gue adalah... gue orang asing, padahal gue adalah keluarganya. Gue menyesal karena selama almarhum hidup, gue tidak bisa menjadi sebuah sosok untuknya. Setelah Mama nasehati gue tadi, gue langsung menangis.. Ongge dan gue itu... sebenarnya mempunyai jalan hidup yang serupa. Beta...

On heavy rain I stood Water dropped, runned Through the body, blended with tears It was grey skies Cold and alone Everything was broken Disappointed and sad. Want to be warm Want to be loved Don't want to be alone Wondering what would it be Who could it be How could it be Too naive,  I know I'm new in here What do I know about it?

I wish upon a star That one day you could see me Notice my presence And take me I wish upon a star That if I could stay away And never turn back But no, It's hard I wish upon a star That if you're not my fiction Then I'll hold you tight Cure your soul cause no one did I wish upon a star That you could be my gravity That I can hold on Though it's impossible I'm unnoticeable I'm unseen I'm not presence I'm a shadow, that watch you from afar

What a long journey to go! Nggak terasa, I already have nieces! At the young age like this! The first one is from my first sister, and her daughter is Alexandria Keirra Averdi or Rara. She's two years old now and nothing can compare her cuteness! Rara suka Hello Kitty dan Baymax.. just like me. I teached her how to do Baymax's high-five and to do eskimo kiss. AND SHE CAN CALL ME NOW! Lucu banget tiap manggil "auntil". The second one is from my second sister. She's my second angel that was born 2 months ago. Sekarang Dey udah bisa senyum-senyum kalau ada yang ajak ngobrol dia. Dey pipinya tembem, dan paling gampang bobo di pelukan gue. Biasanya kita jadi ketidur bareng, dengan posisi Dey di dekapan gue. Argh, cute. I'm very blessed because I have them now. I'm proud to have them as my nieces. Sejak punya keponakan, gue yang anak bungsu (paling egois, gamau ngalah, manja) jadi otomatis rela mengorbankan apapun buat mereka. Buku catetan gue sering dic...

You're the red, I'm the blue You're the night, I'm the morning We couldn't be purple We cannot be as one You and I just a sad ending fiction Nothing's real, that was just my biggest dream And you should know That I adore you, and will always do I admire you, the one who reflected me ***

You're the face of my moonlit Shine through my darkest night You're the heart of my horizon Where the sun will drowned You paint my blue sky to be more colorful You blow the wind to my hottest sunny day You take the stars that I picked from the sky You bring happiness to me You're my lullaby to my sleep The smile of my dream You're my butterfly That fly in my stomach You're the song that I sing For every single day At last, You're the oxygen that I breathe You're my sun in the milky way My black hole that never gone And you're the gravity that I hold on to

Apa artinya sebuah impian? Apa artinya sebuah mimpi? Jika kau tahu semuanya hanya sebatas kalbu. Dia, aku, terbatas oleh waktu. Kita terpisah oleh dua dimensi. Jarak antara benua, samudera, bahkan bintang pun tak menggapai. Kita, hanyalah si punuk yang merindukan bulan. Menunggu untuk disapa. Mengharap untuk saling bersandar. Menatap dari kejauhan. Bercerita kepada hati sendiri. Kenapa? Kenapa kita rela bertahan? Disiakan tetapi tetap berteguh. Kenapa kita tetap berdiri tegak? Saat dia tak mengenali kita. Kita, memang menyedihkan. Tapi... mimpi memanglah mimpi. Impian yang harus dipertahankan. Kita masih di sini, menunggu ketidak pastian. *** Untuk fan-girl , secret admirer  di sekitar saya.. Love, Nita.