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Gloomy, Rainy, Dreamy

Today is gloomy as usual. My holiday is actually realllyy boring as hell. Today... I've browsed about my childhood friends, my squad in the middle school, everything about my past.

As 18 y.o young lady, I miss being a kid. Like, passing grades with great score, winning a championship, running around the field just like a fool, meeting your lovable friends..., without thinking anything else.

I miss being pure-innocent-white angel.

As the rain drops... well, how do I express this?

Does rain make us brood? Thinking which is right, which is wrong, what are you supposed to do, what are you going to be, listing your dreams, and so on.

I'm raised pretty well by Mom, and I hope she's proud of her perfectionist, feminisit, idealist, sometimes bossy daughter who has strong willed and guts inside her. I'm kinda person who'll give 99% (well, 100% is for God, no one's perfect) and try to be the best. Well what I mean is, I'll get easily upset whenever I get B though I know that I deserve an A because I just know and believe in my ability. My thought is.. I can give you 99% so 70% isn't enough. And I have this curiosity issue which can't be handled. If something went wrong, pasti gue selalu mempertanyakannya sampai gue mendapatkan jawaban yang masuk akal.

Well as I describe my self before... I'm worried about my future.

I'm a full time dreamer, YES, but as I grow... I'm wondering, "Can I reach those dreams?"

I have a diary of my dreams and I also stick it on my wall - as I said before in some of my previous post-. They doubt me and laugh at my dreams. But.. I always have this faith right inside me that soon I'll reach it.

But today... I don't know...
Do I doubt my self? Can't I believe in my ability? Am I saying that my dreams are impossible?

I always wanted to work at UN / Google, being an ambassador for UNICEF and helping children among the nations to get a proper education, fighting human and animal rights, protecting the wildlife, well.. ANY WORKS THAT RELATED TO HUMANITY, CREATIVITY, AND TRAVELLING. I'll be the Indonesian version of Audrey Hepburn and Oprah Winfrey. Are those dreams too high to be true?

But how do I accomplish those? Even to my self, it's a hard question to be answered. I need to be an inspiration for the others, a role model to every youngster (especially for a girl), a trust from the crowd, and yet... I'm trying to be that. Maybe... just maybe, from the scale of 1 to 10, so far I only get 5.

Please dear my readers, don't EVER doubt your dreams like I just did in this post.

Know your dreams, learn how to reach it, and don't lose faith. Xoxo.

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