I hope we're gonna meet again

Thank you for believing in me when no one else did.
Thank you for cheering me when the others mocked at me.
Thank you for supporting me when no one else would.
Thank you for caring me when no one cared.

From the moment I knew you, I see you as a father.

Now you, the father figure that I idolized will be leaving soon.

I want you to be there at my graduation.

I want you to be the first one, along with my parents, to know when I get a scholarship abroad.

I want you to be there when I achieve my goal.

And now... it will be only a dream.

A dream that won't be a reality.

You taught me to live in passion.
You taught me to be disciplined.
You taught me to respect people and to be on time.
You taught me the lesson of life.
You taught me to see the beauty in the ugly.
You... taught me a lot of things that I did not know before.

I am sorry.
That I am nobody right now.
That I failed to make you proud.
That I stuck and trap.

I am sorry.
That I cried when you texted me today.
That I haven't replied your text because it hurts my heart.
That I cried when I saw your photos.
That I cried to know you won't be here any longer.

I am sorry.
That I am being selfish right now.
That I am being childish.
That I want you.
That I need you.
Because I'm not prepared yet.

It comes out so sudden.

I think... there is no other reason for me to stay if you go.

I know...
When there is "hello", there is "goodbye".

Comments

Give and Take

What happens to teenager this day? What happens to Indonesian culture about polite, manner, and grace? It's so pathethic that now we rarely see it in our life. Let's take the easiest samples: 1. Menyela pembicaraan orang. 2. Make fun, laugh, yawn, stared hatefully toward the elders (it can be your lecturer or even your parent). 3. Being ignorance, arrogant. 4. This may be the simpliest sample of all... keluar / masuk ruangan tanpa ijin, main kabur,padahal sebenarnya bisa ijin dulu. etc. Some of the examples above are actually based on my observation in actual life. But then the question is: Can we live without polite, manner, and grace? Sekarang coba kalau dibalik. Kita jadi orang yang mendapatkan perlakuan yang tidak sopan. You feel uncomfortable, angry, sad, and insecure, don't you? Is that good? How can we have polite, manner, and grace? Well, I'm kind of person that believe in "Give and Take". Give and take is actually hands that help each oth...

Self Reflection

I haven't wrote anything. But will try to write... again. 4 tahun yang lalu, gue menuliskan tentang masa-masa menjadi maba (mahasiswa baru) yang baru saja selesai melaksanakan PKKMB. Hari ini, beberapa teman angkatan 2015 sudah melaksanakan wisuda. Gue belum, semoga tahun depan mendapatkan giliran. Aamiin... Btw , entah mengapa pukul segini memang enak untuk menjadi sendu. Bukan sendu dalam konotasi negatif, tetapi cenderung ke arah positif. Tiba-tiba, jadi mengenang apa saja yang terjadi selama 4 tahun belakangan ini. Masa-masa di mana gue melepas seragam putih-abu, dan menggantinya dengan pakaian bebas. Malam ini menjadi sebuah renungan terhadap diri sendiri, atas apa yang telah dicapai, kesalahan, kebahagiaan, pertemanan, dan lain sebagainya. Katanya, kuliah adalah masa terakhir sebelum menghadapi dunia nyata. Katanya, semakin kita dewasa, kita cenderung menjadi realistis... mematikan cita-cita di dalam diri. Mematikan jiwa anak-anak yang ada di dalam hati. ...

Two Worlds Collide

So I was listening to this song last night. Pretty old, it was from Demi Lovato's first album, Don't Forget. The lyrics really got me... Well probably, now I'm on Demi's phase back then when she was really insecure with her self... *** "Two Worlds Collide" She was given the world So much that she couldn't see And she needed someone to show her, Who she could be. And she tried to survive Wearing her heart on her sleeve But I needed you to believe You had your dreams, I had mine. You had your fears, I was fine. You showed me what I couldn't find, When two different worlds collide. La dee da dee da She was scared of it all, watching from far away. She was given a role, never knew just when to play. And she tried to survive Living her life on her own Always afraid of the throne But you've given me strength to find home. You had your dreams, I had mine. You had your fears, I was fine. You showed me what I couldn't find, When...

Adulting

I hate getting older. I wish I could stay in my student era, where I just need to study and got good grades. Ironically, today is the youngest I could be and I should cherish that. I hate the fact that each day I just getting older. This blog grows up with me. I was such a bright bubbly girl who always wondered, "what is it like to be an adult?" Duh, Nita, my younger-self. Let me tell you: YOU HATE BEING AN ADULT. You are now not a dreamer, instead you just live your life. Waiting for your turn to die. You are now working as an employee, not an artist like you always wanted to be. You don't have much time to read, you choose to sleep in between your spare time. You are now a mom of 2 at the age of 27, not an independent single woman who wanted to get marry at 30. I'm living in a reality that I didn't plan at all. I'm still trying to survive, at least. Well, I'm a survivor and I will survive. ***

GIVE. and. TAKE.

GIVE and TAKE. Kata-kata yang terus saya ingat sejak kecil. Yup. Mama memang sering banget mengatakan ini. Saya memang sempat bingung dengan makna kata ini. Tapi, seiring berjalannya waktu, seiring dengan saya yang tumbuh dan berkembang... I think I get it. Menurut saya... Makna Give and Take adalah... Kita diciptakan sebagai manusia itu tidak sempurna. Setiap individu pasti mempunyai kelebihan dan kekurangan sendiri. Dan kita itu adalah makhluk sosial, selalu ingin bergaul dan bermasyarakat, zoon politicon kata Aristoteles. Manusia itu diciptakan untuk saling melengkapi kekurangannya. Lalu pertanyaannya adalah bagaimana cara kita semua saling melengkapi kekurangan masing-masing? Jawabannya adalah, GIVE. Coba deh, kita jangan selalu melihat ke atas. Coba lihat orang-orang yang mempunyai kekurangan dari kita. Baik kekurangan fisik, materi, apalah itu. Dengan begitu, kita pasti jadi lebih bersyukur sama apa yang kita punya. Karena itu pula, kita dengan tulus pasti akan m...

Expect the Unexpected

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