Well...

The more I grow, the more I become aware and suspect people. Every people but my family. Even a friend could stab you from behind, am I right? It is ridiculous to believe in a person as if that person won't hurt you. It is so naive, and I think it's tiring to be naive like this. I am being lied and cheated, and became disappointed eventually.

I am so sick of it.

I am tired of it.

That's enough bullshit of you. And you. And you. And you. And you.

I am building a wall to everyone right now.

To keep myself safe and sane.

Because I learn that not everyone deserves my caring and loving.

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Dear Momma (2.0)

And eventually I'm just a scared little lady. The super sensitive one when people talked about "family bond." I would cry easily on my Momma's lap when we had a deep conversation. She's my hero, my wonderwoman. The one who rescued me in my lowest. The one who protected me whenever I needed her. So, two days ago we had a deep conversation. It was about manner. " Kamu mbok ya jangan ngomong sama Mama kaya gitu.. nanti dosa ," she said when we got started. I was standing beside her while she sat on the sofa. We were talking about the latest movie actually -not the deep conversation, yet-. "Kalo ngomong sama orang tua, apalagi sama Mama, jangan sampe Mama harus mengadah liat kamu... Tatapan mata kita sejajar aja udah salah... " I was like.. . krik. Speechless. " Justru dari dulu k epala Mama lebih rendah daripada kepala Eyangti, lho. Nanti kualat kamu kaya gitu, De... Mama dari dulu mau ingetin kamu tapi lupa terus. Tiap abis shalat, ...

Welcome 20!

Now I am finally 20. Well my birthday was on last month actually, but I haven't got a time to write about my post birthday here. So... How it feels to be 20? Honestly, it is nothing. Ironically, you feel old yet you are still young. I think now I know my inner peace, how to keep myself sane and steady. It is crazy to remember that last year, when I was 19, I did so many amazing journeys. I made friends and I keep friends. And day by day I know that I already have a love that I always wanted. Surrounded by them who stay in my side, and by the new people who I adore.

Self Reflection

I haven't wrote anything. But will try to write... again. 4 tahun yang lalu, gue menuliskan tentang masa-masa menjadi maba (mahasiswa baru) yang baru saja selesai melaksanakan PKKMB. Hari ini, beberapa teman angkatan 2015 sudah melaksanakan wisuda. Gue belum, semoga tahun depan mendapatkan giliran. Aamiin... Btw , entah mengapa pukul segini memang enak untuk menjadi sendu. Bukan sendu dalam konotasi negatif, tetapi cenderung ke arah positif. Tiba-tiba, jadi mengenang apa saja yang terjadi selama 4 tahun belakangan ini. Masa-masa di mana gue melepas seragam putih-abu, dan menggantinya dengan pakaian bebas. Malam ini menjadi sebuah renungan terhadap diri sendiri, atas apa yang telah dicapai, kesalahan, kebahagiaan, pertemanan, dan lain sebagainya. Katanya, kuliah adalah masa terakhir sebelum menghadapi dunia nyata. Katanya, semakin kita dewasa, kita cenderung menjadi realistis... mematikan cita-cita di dalam diri. Mematikan jiwa anak-anak yang ada di dalam hati. ...

Give and Take

What happens to teenager this day? What happens to Indonesian culture about polite, manner, and grace? It's so pathethic that now we rarely see it in our life. Let's take the easiest samples: 1. Menyela pembicaraan orang. 2. Make fun, laugh, yawn, stared hatefully toward the elders (it can be your lecturer or even your parent). 3. Being ignorance, arrogant. 4. This may be the simpliest sample of all... keluar / masuk ruangan tanpa ijin, main kabur,padahal sebenarnya bisa ijin dulu. etc. Some of the examples above are actually based on my observation in actual life. But then the question is: Can we live without polite, manner, and grace? Sekarang coba kalau dibalik. Kita jadi orang yang mendapatkan perlakuan yang tidak sopan. You feel uncomfortable, angry, sad, and insecure, don't you? Is that good? How can we have polite, manner, and grace? Well, I'm kind of person that believe in "Give and Take". Give and take is actually hands that help each oth...

:)

They are everlasting. Lol I just found this!! Miss these girls so much... Btw, i'm gonna say Happy Birthday to Nadia Rahma Safitri (foto atas, paling kiri). Semoga panjang umur, sehat selalu, makin imut, dan.... semoga sudah move on. HEHE .-. With love, Nita :D

Expect the Unexpected

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