That Someone

I was just having a nightmare. It was a common dream, but hurt like hell. The dream was about losing someone that I love to another person. In the dream, the news just spread all over the kids, and I didn't hear it from 'that someone' but through the gossips. Once I looked it with my own eyes, I became such a brat, ignoring people who asked "what's wrong with you?", and even ignoring 'that someone' though 'that someone' tried to talk to me, eye to eye. It was such a cheesy dream to be dreamt, seriously, lol

I woke up slowly, all I knew was everything got blurry, and my face was wet, then I realized that I was crying. The tears creeps me out. Am I afraid of getting abandon, forgotten, or left behind by 'that someone'? Am I already having a lot of precious memories with 'that someone' that I couldn't burry easily?

My sense got me.

I'd never know that I could be really despicable about this, losing someone that I love makes me miserable. I wasn't like that before, but why am I feeling like being tortured now?

As a young lady, I love freedom. I don't really think of being attached to anyone now, I am not in searching, but I think... deep down, I know my heart belongs to where and to whom, lol. Once I think some people are being an important thing of my life, I could be very faithful. Now I know, that I already took my sworn to being loyal to 'that someone', though it was unspoken. I couldn't lie to myself, becuse no matter how many times my brain try to manipulate it, my heart always resist. I know that I am being too care to 'that someone'.

Too care and being cared, it drives me crazy.

[Writing the post with sleepy mode on]

Yours,

Nita.

(Photo source: google)

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