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Loudest Silence

I may could not directly say it to you out loud or even in a whisper.
But I am afraid I won't have much time left for this.
We were more but now we are less.
We are now strangers like we used to.

You did not have to do anything,
You did nothing.
But indirectly, you taught me how to love.

The biggest love that I ever felt.
The purest love although I didn't want to make you as mine.
The unconditional love, that made me want to give you my kidney, if I have to.
I just love you.

You made me the woman I am today.
The one who finally made peace with her past, knows her life goals, dreams, and to realized how huge my worth is.

Once, I felt unwanted and unheard, not just by you, but also by everyone else.
So, I thought it was better for me to go without saying words.
People didn't ask me anything, so did you.
So, I thought my decision was right.

I regret it, it was my biggest mistake to hold all of my feelings within.
I ran from my own life, and now I know I can't turn back time.

Ironically, this feeling stays the same.
I still love everything about you,
Although knowing that we live in a totally different world.
Although I know, this feeling will forever be burried deep down there.

***
Posting my October 2024 draft

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