Expect the Unexpected

Don't Rain On My Parade (Funny Girl musical, sung by Barbra Streisand, covered by Glee cast) Don't tell me not to live, Just sit and putter, Life's candy and the sun's A ball of butter. Don't bring around a cloud To rain on my parade. Don't tell me not to fly-- I've simply got to. If someone takes a spill, It's me and not you. Who told you you're allowed To rain on my parade! I'll march my band out, I'll beat my drum, And if I'm fanned out, Your turn at bat, sir. At least I didn't fake it. Hat, sir, I guess I didn't make it! But whether I'm the rose Of sheer perfection, Or freckle on the nose Of life's complexion, The cinder or the shiny apple of its eye, I gotta fly once, I gotta try once, Only can die once, right, sir? Ooh, life is juicy, Juicy, and you'll see I'm gonna have my bite, sir! Get ready for me, love, 'Cause I'm a "comer," I simply gotta march, My heart's a drummer. Don...

Gue baru aja ngebaca blog kakak gue yang pertama, Mba Tita, Dia adalah kakak pertama gue yang super galak, super ngangenin , yang bikinin email pertama gue, yang bikinin Friendster (Hahahaha waktu itu masih hits banget), yang bikinin Facebook, yang sama-sama sibuk di dunia masing-masing kalau udah di pameran buku, yang ngasih latihan-latihan soal Try Out yang tebalnya mungkin 2 rim buat latihan ujian, dan yang paling hobi baking . Mba Tita is the one who taught me to bake, too, beside my Mom. And... She said that I am the one who love to eat among Mom and Mba Andes. Yeah, right.. I'd never get tired of being your kelinci percobaan with your recipes, sis. Jadi di blognya, Mba Tita pernah posting tulisan dia berantem sama pacarnya dulu (which her husband, now) sampai d i-screencapture di blognya, loh. Di tulisan itu Mba Tita sampai menangis semalaman karena udah sebel banget, dan bangun dengan muka yang sembap. *Sebenarnya agak amazed gitu, dulu gue, Mba Tita, Mba Andes selalu t...

As I said before we are less the same. And destiny is something we can't blame. As we live in two different poles. It seems pretty far for us to get close. As the earth rotates slowly, You're getting closer to me. As we may united, Probably I'll make our own ballad. But... Can't you see that we live differently? Oh, You... Me... How many probabilities that we have? How can we complete and salve? You're a beautiful creature. That make me crazier. I may fall deep in those sad eyes. Too deep as if I'm drowning in magis. Almost a year I'm drowning. But weird.. I'm not even dying. I enjoy it though it hurts. Maybe I'm one of those experts... That will stay though invisible. ***

Aku memang bukan ahli agama. Tetapi ada satu ayat Al-Qur'an yang selalu aku ingat kapanpun dan dimanapun itu. Ayat ini sudah menemani aku sebagai doa tambahan sebelum dan sebangun tidur, dan doa shalat sejak aku masih duduk di bangku sekolah dasar. Mungkin karena terbiasa membaca ayat ini, bahkan ketika berada di dalam perjalanan, duduk di mobil, baru tiba di kelas, aku otomatis membaca ayat ini di dalam hati. Entah mengapa, tetapi ayat ini mampu menenangkan hati aku di dalam kondisi resah, gelisah, marah, sedih, takut, semua emosi yang aku rasakan.  Hmm... Ayat ini membuatku merasa aman di dalam perlindungan-Nya.. Ayat ini adalah ayat ke-255 dari Q.S. Al-Baqarah, yang lazimnya kita kenal sebagai Ayat Kursi. Ayat ini jika diartikan memang berisi tentang keesaan, keagungan, dan kemuliaan Tuhan. Ayat Kursi adalah salah satu ayat Al-Qur'an yang agung. Aku nggak  meminta kalian wajib menghafalnya, tetapi memang sebaiknya kalian mau menghafalnya. (Q.S Al-Baqarah ...

Jakarta , Juli 2016. Dear Om, First of all I want to say Happy 45th Birthday to you, the Father of my beloved friend... Devina! I wish nothing but the best for you, Sir. May Allah gives you a healthy life with His joys and blessings. I know we haven't got a chance to meet in person, yet, but I've heard a lot about you while Devina and I were still in high school. Don't worry, Devina told me about your kindness, though. Second, as we may in the spirit of holy month, I will say happy ied mubarak 1437 H to you, sir! May Allah forgives all of our sins and gives us His blessings. Let's keep the spirit until next ramadhan, and hopefully we'll meet next year. Your daughter, Devina, is a wonderful young lady. She's one of my favorite during the high school. I've seen her laugh, cry, angry, and most of it... She was busy being her self, a true freaking (imaginary) Mrs. Bieber. You're lucky to have her as your daughter because you would never get ...

Lately, for this past seven days I always had a nightmare. The nightmare was so awful and it made me cry in my sleep. The weird thing was, I didn't even remember what dreams it were. I woke up with red and wet eyes without knowing what just happened in my dreams. The only dream that I remember is actually the dream of Momma died. Just it. I am kinda wondering what nightmares that I had. And it makes me kinda afraid to fall asleep because of imaging my self having a nightmare, again. It makes me thinking whether I forget to pray before I go to bed, I get cursed by God, or the nightmares are actually the signs that God sent to me, or... What? So what's happening?

And eventually I'm just a scared little lady. The super sensitive one when people talked about "family bond." I would cry easily on my Momma's lap when we had a deep conversation. She's my hero, my wonderwoman. The one who rescued me in my lowest. The one who protected me whenever I needed her. So, two days ago we had a deep conversation. It was about manner. " Kamu mbok ya jangan ngomong sama Mama kaya gitu.. nanti dosa ," she said when we got started. I was standing beside her while she sat on the sofa. We were talking about the latest movie actually -not the deep conversation, yet-. "Kalo ngomong sama orang tua, apalagi sama Mama, jangan sampe Mama harus mengadah liat kamu... Tatapan mata kita sejajar aja udah salah... " I was like.. . krik. Speechless. " Justru dari dulu k epala Mama lebih rendah daripada kepala Eyangti, lho. Nanti kualat kamu kaya gitu, De... Mama dari dulu mau ingetin kamu tapi lupa terus. Tiap abis shalat, ...