Expect the Unexpected

Jika dianalogikan, kamu adalah merah senja dan aku adalah biru langit. Kita saling menatap, berputar dalam siklus yang tetap. Walaupun kita berada di horizon yang sama, kamu... aku... kita... terbatas oleh waktu. Kamu tiba di saat sinar mentari padam, dan aku tak mungkin tiba di dalam malam. Oh, merah senja... Apa kamu berharap bisa berjumpa denganku? Layaknya aku bermimpi tentangmu? Kita memang selalu berjumpa saat langit menjadi nila. Tapi kita tak pernah bersapa. Singkatnya waktu menghalangi kita untuk bertemu. Tak bisa bercengkrama, berkenalan pun tak mampu. Aku adalah si biru langit... Yang selalu menanti kamu, merah senja, di horizon.

Let's start the countdown. 3/4. Break a leg, Hammy, Seb, and of course Rio! (I'M ACTUALLY WAITING FOR THE HEAD TO HEAD RACE AMONG HAMILTON, VETTEL, AND ROSBERG) (((Go go go Mercedes, go go go Ferrari, go go go Manor))) (HARDLY CANNOT CHOOSE ONE OF THEM)

I don't know what's going on to my self. Lately, these days, I've been feeling so alone. It looks like that I am lost in the crowd nowhere to be found. I am so insecure deep inside, behind this mask of happiness on my face. It's so weird that I can easily cry over something that is not important. Like, I mean, is it normal to cry over animal's cute behave? Or to cry over a loving scene between a mother and her daughter / son? I mean... I must have this serious mental issue. They see me as a brave and independent girl. Well, I am. But at some moment, I'm actually too afraid of my life. I've lived in fears for so many years. I know I'm messed. How much I envy those people who have normal life. I don't know how long I can stand up to face it -my upside down life-. Can I just stop and give up?

This happened like about... 2 hours ago, while I was on my way home. I was in Transjakarta, and there were a mother and her son (maybe he's still in the secondary school). The way of the mother talk and behave, I know what kind of person she is. Discipline but loving mother. They were talking about his scores. (Yup, I was eavesdropping them) Anak (A) : "Aku cuma dapet 98." Mama (M) : "Wah, sayang, tuh! Satu nomor lagi kamu 100, nak. Apa yang salah memang?" A : "Ada kok yang nilainya 100, Ma." M : "Iya, cuma satu -pkn-." A : "PLBJ aku dapet 9.. (antara 96 / 97 / 98)." M : "Wah, tapi kan nilai kamu udah di atas 9 semua kan? Itu udah bagus..." A : "Engga, aku IPA dapet 84. Jelek banget..." M : "Loh, kok bisa segitu?" A : "Pelajarannya susah.. belum dipelajari." M : "Susah apanya? Masa belum belajar tapi keluar UTS?" A : "Tentang gas,magnet, listrik, gitu-gitu, deh. Guru

So I was listening to this song last night. Pretty old, it was from Demi Lovato's first album, Don't Forget. The lyrics really got me... Well probably, now I'm on Demi's phase back then when she was really insecure with her self... *** "Two Worlds Collide" She was given the world So much that she couldn't see And she needed someone to show her, Who she could be. And she tried to survive Wearing her heart on her sleeve But I needed you to believe You had your dreams, I had mine. You had your fears, I was fine. You showed me what I couldn't find, When two different worlds collide. La dee da dee da She was scared of it all, watching from far away. She was given a role, never knew just when to play. And she tried to survive Living her life on her own Always afraid of the throne But you've given me strength to find home. You had your dreams, I had mine. You had your fears, I was fine. You showed me what I couldn't find, When

I Will by: The Beatles Who knows how long I've loved you You know I love you still Will I wait a lonely lifetime If you want me to, I will For if I ever saw you I didn't catch your name But it never really mattered I will always feel the same Love you forever and forever Love you with all my heart Love you whenever we're together Love you when we're apart And when at last I find you Your song will fill the air Sing it loud so I can hear you Make it easy to be near you For the things you do endear you to me Oh, you know I will I will Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm Da da da da da da da Ps: It's so cheesey to ever feel like this, but could it be possible that I actually longing you? I keep repeating this song over and over again, as if your name keeps hunting my mind and burn my soul. It CAN'T be, NOT at this time... FREDDIE HIGHMORE.

Hey, stranger, it's weird to think of you again. After all this time I can't escape you, that I can't. How many chances do I have? Is it none or more than enough? Who am I supposed to know that? Hey, stranger, you're my question that's never been questioned. I ain't brave enough to know the answer, because you think I'm no one. Is it possible for us to meet? Maybe in our future world? The world of afterlife. Hey, stranger, you should've opened your eyes. Tell your soul that someone is waiting to be noticed. Haven't you realize that someone could be your universe? Can't you see that someone would never throw your torn souls? You could wander to anywhere you wanted to. Find your lost soul and seek for joy. I won't keep you here so please, fly. Hey, stranger, you will always have me by your side. Though, it's impossible for us to be collided. Through the times, you turn to be my morphine. I'm starting to living in you

Jakarta. A crowded city in Indonesia, a hometown of mine, traffic issues everywhere, surrounded by skyscrapers, night life, urban life, crimes everywhere, and also... poverty. So ironic. As the capital city of this developing country, I think the people of Jakarta should have more discipline in their activities. 1. Respect time because it has the same value as money as well. No one can't resist that our simple excuse for coming late such as, " macet ." And also.. many people love wasting their valuable time for unnecessary things, hanging around places without any goal. I used to live like those examples (coming late, and wasting time) but the more I grow.. I'm always trying to respect time. By doing that, I can be more productive without feeling overwhelmed and I can save my expenses. So, I suggest you to have a monthly / weekly / daily planner to control your life and you can live to the fullest by doing necessary things that you love, or that you responsible

The first time I met you, I was paralyzed by your charm. Hypnotized and feeling warm. Then sat beside you, didn't know who you were. We were stranger back then. Your dazzling eyes knocked me down, that you did. I didn't even know what was it. It was something new for me to feel. You were always there whenever and wherever I was. Though it was just in a mind of mine. Hey, stranger, what have you done? Months passed earlier than I thought. Weird... cause God brought you to my life. Ten hours a day though I felt it wasn't enough. Everyday was like a real fairy tale, that it was. Hey, stranger, did you even remember how we were here? The first time I met you, I knew what kind of person you were. Cold hearted with guts, that you were. This feeling was true and pure. I was right because I got hurt. But I'd stay not retreat. Autumn and winter had passed. Left us with spring and new hopes. Hey, stranger, didn't you see that?

Memang menyebalkan rasanya. Terjebak di sebuah jalan yang tidak mempunyai akhir. Tidak tahu apa yang menanti di sana dan tidak tahu arah. Selalu berputar, berulang, hingga akhirnya tersesat. Optimisme pun mulai meredup dari dalam dirinya, di mana kepercayaan dirinya yang dulu? Sirat cintanya mulai sirna, cahaya pun meredup, dan sorot matanya hampa tanpa kehidupan. Membiarkan dirinya terbelenggu di dalam siklus yang tetap. Entah lah, dia pun tak tahu di mana dirinya kini berpijak. Dia... tak tahu bagaimana harus mengekspresikannya. Apakah harus berpura-pura buta dan tuli untuk menghadapinya? Apakah Tuhan menjalankan takdir untuknya seperti ini? Entah lah, apa dia mampu melalui semua rintangan- Nya . Ingin dia mampu bersikap acuh kepada kerasnya dunia, menghadapi segala cobaan dengan dingin. Tetapi... apa kah itu yang terbaik? Berkali-kali dia merenung, mempertanyakan akan keberadaannya... Toh, yang dia tahu tak ada satu pun yang peduli terhadapnya. Kehadirannya dari awal tidak diin

Today is gloomy as usual. My holiday is actually realllyy boring as hell. Today... I've browsed about my childhood friends, my squad in the middle school, everything about my past. As 18 y.o young lady, I miss being a kid. Like, passing grades with great score, winning a championship, running around the field just like a fool, meeting your lovable friends..., without thinking anything else. I miss being pure-innocent-white angel. As the rain drops... well, how do I express this? Does rain make us brood? Thinking which is right , which is wrong , what are you supposed to do , what are you going to be , listing your dreams , and so on. I'm raised pretty well by Mom, and I hope she's proud of her perfectionist, feminisit, idealist, sometimes bossy daughter who has strong willed and guts inside her. I'm kinda person who'll give 99% (well, 100% is for God, no one's perfect) and try to be the best. Well what I mean is, I'll get easily upset whenever I get B t