Midnight Note

I don't know what's going on to my self.

Lately, these days, I've been feeling so alone. It looks like that I am lost in the crowd nowhere to be found.

I am so insecure deep inside, behind this mask of happiness on my face.

It's so weird that I can easily cry over something that is not important. Like, I mean, is it normal to cry over animal's cute behave? Or to cry over a loving scene between a mother and her daughter / son? I mean... I must have this serious mental issue.

They see me as a brave and independent girl. Well, I am.

But at some moment, I'm actually too afraid of my life. I've lived in fears for so many years. I know I'm messed.

How much I envy those people who have normal life. I don't know how long I can stand up to face it -my upside down life-.

Can I just stop and give up?

Comments

Finger Crossed.

Hari ini tanggal 01 Maret 2013.. Impian dari masa kecil gue semoga akhirnya bisa terwujud. Seleksi AFS keberangkatan tahun 2014 dimulai. Kita udah bisa mulai registrasi. Pendaftarannya dimulai dari hari ini atau besok s/d 14 April 2013 kalo ngga salah. And I have to get my Surat Keterangan Sekolah as soon as possible. Wish me luck!! :(

Two Worlds Collide

So I was listening to this song last night. Pretty old, it was from Demi Lovato's first album, Don't Forget. The lyrics really got me... Well probably, now I'm on Demi's phase back then when she was really insecure with her self... *** "Two Worlds Collide" She was given the world So much that she couldn't see And she needed someone to show her, Who she could be. And she tried to survive Wearing her heart on her sleeve But I needed you to believe You had your dreams, I had mine. You had your fears, I was fine. You showed me what I couldn't find, When two different worlds collide. La dee da dee da She was scared of it all, watching from far away. She was given a role, never knew just when to play. And she tried to survive Living her life on her own Always afraid of the throne But you've given me strength to find home. You had your dreams, I had mine. You had your fears, I was fine. You showed me what I couldn't find, When

Satu Dunia, Satu Tapak, Dua Rasa

Dalam gelap, seketika mata menjadi buta. Alunan musik nan lembut telinga telah tuli. Di sebuah pengungkapan, mulut seolah terjahit bisu. Dan di dalam perasaan ini, hati seketika bergejolak. Diam. Tak bergeming. Merelakan angin mencium raganya. Hanya mengamati dan menjaga. Tak berani unjuk diri untuk membela hati yang merana. Andaikan kelak bumi dan langit berjumpa, Bertemu di bentangan dunia, Apa kita dapat berhadapan di setapak yang sama? Memandang satu sama lain. Dari dekat. Menikmati waktu yang sedikit. Menghargai setiap tatapan. Peluklah hangat setiap kenangan. Kecuplah lembut setiap perjuangan. Biarkan terjadi euforia. Sorak-sorai yang menggema di seluruh pelosok. Ketika akhirnya dunia kita dipertemukan.

Is 'Sorry' Enough?

We are way too far. The days pass as we started to live our own life. Separately. And.... I hate it. I hate to admit that I miss you. I hate to realize that I was actually wrong. If only, We can turn back time. To a year when we first met. I would rekindled us. And now.... It's too late. I need to hide. I need to hide from you as far as possible. I need to hide from this mixed feelings. I need to hide from the fact that.... I am flipped. I am flipped because of you. Your gaze, your laugh, your voice... So mesmerizing I can't even lie. Those memories and my faults keep haunt me. So, before I say good bye.... Shall you forgive me? See you when I see you, my reflection.

Art, Picasso, Drunk

Art is something that can makes you relax. It can be your drunk, but in a good way. Art makes you see thing's that can't you see before. It opens wide your imagination. I do love art. I can express myself from it. It teaches me how to use my creativity in a right place. I can do some sketches, but not so well if you compare it with Picasso. Here's a painting by Picasso, the most wonderful artist in the whole wide world. I'm forget its name, but it's so kewl. See, how much a painting can relax you? xoxo

Expect the Unexpected

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